Iris's Food 'O The Day: Costco pesto sauce
Had to look it up.
|Perfect for ruining car paint.|
In the world of the writer, by the way, "creative ways" get pretty damn elaborate. If there is any government institution reading my humble blog I can tell you that no, I am not a threat because where would I even GET a thousand pounds of (full of GMOs and HFCS) bologna to put on her Jaguar SUV? more importantly, why would I want to waterboard her into going to all you can eat IHOP breakfast day and eating non-organic pancakes until her eyes fall out from her self-induced horror?
Nobody wants to see that. Besides, I heard stories of the suffering that happened after I left, even though I explained the filing system to anyone who would listen.
Look up the Wikipedia entry on "gainfully employed", by the way. Based on the psychological characterizations of such I've probably never been gainfully employed in my entire life. Okay, this is perhaps an exaggeration. According to the nine characterizations I've probably been gainfully (under)employed.
Wait, is that even a thing?
At issue here is my skillset. It's suited for startups, because my resume belies the fact that at the last five jobs I've worked, I've effectively had the workload and task diversification of five positions. It's what startups want. And yet, the more of them I work for, the more I realize I need job stability and an oversight committee (in the form of simple things, like strict adherence to the employee manual and an HR department to oversee labor and HR violations), both of which are put on the back burner when it comes to small startups.
And so I'm still gainfully unemployed. My friends say I'm being too picky, but really, dreaming of bologna and IHOP pancakes at the same time is not a sign of sanity, so it's imperative that I find a job that's right for me.
Anyway, look for my inane blog posts on what I'm doing with my life while I look for something else. It'll be a fun ride, I promise.